By Drew Dietsch
| Published
I have plenty of love for Jurassic Park and its first two sequels, but ever since Jurassic World and its follow-ups, it’s been brought into stark contrast how the Jurassic movies have monopolized the dinosaur genre in blockbuster cinema.
And that sucks! Because dinosaurs are awesome and deserve a much more diverse motion picture palette than what these Jurassic movies are churning out from their assembly line.
It just so happens that there is a premade dinosaur property that is begging to be turned into a big budget effects extravaganza, and it almost happened back in the ‘90s.
Welcome to Dinosaurs Attack!.
The Origins Of Dinosaurs Attack!
Dinosaurs Attack! was a series of Topps trading cards released in the 1980s as a spiritual successor to the infamous Mars Attacks! set from the 1960s. The gimmick was a series of cartoonishly violent cards that actually told a story about a scientific experiment gone wrong. This led to dinosaurs phasing into our time and causing all sorts of horrific havoc.
It’s a simple and silly premise that leads to a cavalcade of carnage that seems ripe for a movie. In fact, I’d argue Dinosaurs Attack! makes more sense to do than Tim Burton’s attempt at Mars Attacks! (check out the GenreVision podcast episode on that).
And that almost happened!
The Dinosaurs Attack! Movie We Almost Got
Gremlins director Joe Dante was involved in developing a film version of Dinosaurs Attack! back before Jurassic Park was even announced as a movie project. Dante would produce while his writing partner, Charlie Haas, would handle the script. Let it be noted that Haas helped pen Gremlins 2: The New Batch, the greatest sequel of all time, and also Dante’s criminally underrated Matinee (one of my favorite GenreVision episodes ever).
And who would direct? Will Vinton! If that name doesn’t mean anything to you, Vinton was a pioneer in the field of Claymation. This seems like such the perfect storm of talent for a project like Dinosaurs Attack!, but it never came together in time. Once Jurassic Park was announced, the team thought they could retool it as a parody but it never gained enough steam.
Kiss Jurassic Goodbye
One of the things that the Jurassic movies have done with their monopolizing of the dinosaur blockbuster is keeping the content just safe enough for kids. The young audience is crucial in maintaining that franchise’s dominance. That means they will not go into extreme levels of violence in their dinosaur depictions.
But Dinosaurs Attack! is sold on that precise idea. It’s the opportunity to market a movie as, “Here’s the dinosaur movie those Jurassic wimps would NEVER make!” Heck, release the movie unrated. Look at how that has benefited those Terrifier movies at the box office.
I would love for another Jurassic movie or series to do something truly fresh and reinvigorating, but they are clearly beholden to certain trappings that they can never escape. So why not put them on the shelf for a while and let Dinosaurs Attack! get a gory moment in the spotlight?
Thankfully, there is a comic miniseries that adapts the story of the cards and recreates their iconic tableaus. Go check it out but I will spoil one thing for anyone that’s curious: Dinosaur Satan.
