In Jon Favreau’s 2010 film “Iron Man 2,” the titular hero (Robert Downey, Jr.) a.k.a. Tony Stark, attends a press conference about his rocket-powered suit of armor, hyping the fact that he has been using it to destroy all the weapons that his company had manufactured. At the press conference, Tony, a flippant and humorous fellow, said that he was often asked how one goes to the bathroom while wearing Iron Man armor. He pauses for a moment, and then a look of relief crosses his face. “Just like that,” he says. We can debate whether or not he was actually defecating on stage in the moment.
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If he was, however, that would mean the suit is equipped with some sort of waste vacuole. It’s a high-tech suit, so it’s entirely possible that it has the means to collect Tony Stark’s feces and either store it for disposal at a later time, or vaporize it entirely. One would also assume the suit has a cleaning element that keeps Tony’s rump spotless — a high-tech miniature bidet, perhaps.
Of course, if that was the case, Tony would have to enter the Iron Man suit naked, which may only sometimes be the case. Throughout all the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tony is seen donning his suit of armor fully clothed, sometimes even wearing an expensive tuxedo and designer shoes. Later in the film series, Tony reconstructs his suit to be made of a fantastical nanotechnology that allows the suit to seep over him like a liquid and solidify into armor. With that tech in place, perhaps the rear end panel can open and allow Tony to evacuate into a toilet as usual. But then, are his underwear also nanotech? How often is he naked in there?
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Of course, “Thunderbolts*” star Julia Louis-Dreyfus already settled this debate. She was shown a clip from an old “Seinfeld” episode at a recent press junket, witnessing a scene wherein Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) and George (Jason Alexander) debate whether or not Iron Man wore underwear. Louis-Dreyfus was quick to quell the matter: Of course he does.
How often is Iron Man naked inside his armor?
In “Seinfeld” episode “The Voice” (October 2, 1997), Jerry and George bring up one of the most meaningless debates in Marvel Comics history: Is Iron Man naked inside his suit? “Seinfeld” usually stuck close to debates about Superman (Seinfeld himself is a fan of the character), so the Iron Man debate stood out. “Seinfeld” writers hardly ever concerned themselves with Marvel Comics characters. Of course, the debate is extremely dumb, because Iron Man’s nudity is irrelevant to the drama of his comics. Whether he’s naked or not, he can still rocket into space and battle aliens on a whim.
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But the debate has raged on wherever nerds gather and wherever weed is being consumed. It would require an actual Marvel authority to settle things once and for all. Luckily, Julia Louis-Dreyfus appeared on both “Seinfeld” and in the MCU. In the latter, she plays Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, a scruples-free agency head who appeared in “Black Widow,” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,” and, most recently, in “Thunderbolts*.” With her Marvel imprimatur, she was able to get Iron Man properly dressed. When asked if Tony Stark wore undies, she said plainly:
“One hundred percent he’s got underwear on. Who are we kidding? How could he not?”
And that’s that. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine said so. Tony Stark cannot defecate in his armor unless he is also defecating in his underwear. Which I suppose is possible, but it’s a little gross. Perhaps Iron Man will clarify the matter himself when the character is inevitably brought back to the MCU. In the meantime, Downey is slated to appear as Doctor Doom in the upcoming “Avengers: Doomsday,” due in theaters on May 1, 2026.
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