By GFR
| Published
If there is one action movie you can call the most influential of all time, it’s Die Hard.
The Bruce Willis blockbuster continues to find new fans decades later, but it didn’t take long for Hollywood to try its best at recapturing that lightning in a bottle.
And a few of those movies are actually worth seeking out.
So the good folks here at Giant Freakin Robot got together and we’ve compiled the Die Hard knockoffs that are actually worth watching.
Under Siege
Under Siege has sentient gasbag Steven Seagal as a former SEAL whose butt-kicking bona fides are put to the test after mercenaries take over a Navy battleship.
Because he’s a lowly cook on the ship, nobody expects this chef to put up much of a fight.
Fortunately for action lovers, Seagal dishes up scene after scene of hilariously over-the-top violence.
These days, Seagal is a walking parody of himself, but Under Siege presents him in his pugilistic prime.
Just as Die Hard was anchored by the raw charisma of Bruce Willis, this oceanic adventure is held together by the weirdly magnetic anti-charm of Seagal.
By the time the credits roll, you will believe a man can fly while kicking.
Throw in Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey at their mustache-twirling best, and you’ve got an adrenaline-filled adventure that’s a boatload of fun.
Masterminds
What if they made a kid-friendly version of Die Hard and it was actually good?
Masterminds is a film in which Vincent Kartheiser (best known for his performance as the slimy Pete Campbell in Mad Men) is a too-cool-for-school teenager who gets stuck taking his little sister to her fancy private academy.
He was previously kicked out of this academy and knows the campus well, which comes in handy when the school is taken over by a criminal mastermind played by Star Trek icon Patrick Stewart.
What follows is an entertaining romp in which this precocious protagonist engages in every student’s fantasy: saving the day by destroying the school.
While Kartheiser is good as the hero, Stewart’s turn as a villain is what makes this film truly memorable.
Nearly two decades before his chilling appearance in Green Room, Captain Picard proved just how creepy he can be while chewing the scenery every time he’s onscreen.
When you’re in the mood for stupid fun, Masterminds is a great go-to for Die Hard fans.
And who wouldn’t want to watch Angel’s kid fighting the most famous captain in Starfleet?
Air Force One
In Air Force One, Han Solo himself plays the President of the United States, a man who can’t wait to fly back home from Moscow.
Unfortunately, both his plans and his plane are hijacked by terrorists, and it doesn’t take them long to take care of the Secret Service agents onboard.
That leaves it up to the President to introduce these baddies to the “Bill of Fights,” one punch at a time.
By far, the most entertaining thing about Air Force One is the performance by Harrison Ford.
Squaring off against baddies led by Gary Oldman brings out a spark in the Indiana Jones actor that reminds us why we fell in love with him in the first place.
Plus, Ford’s legendary crankiness is on full display onscreen, making his performance as a grumpy, aging action star that much more believable.
Our favorite Blade Runner doing Die Hard in the air? We’ll happy buy a ticket for that ride.
Sudden Death
Jean-Claude Van Damme was a megastar in the 90s, starring in Time Cop, Street Fighter, and his own take on Die Hard with Sudden Death.
Set during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals, Van Damme has to stop a terrorist attack, rescue hostages, defuse bombs, and help the Pittsburgh Penguins win the Cup by disguising himself as the team’s goalie.
Complicating the formula this time are his kids, an easy way for the terrorists to try and stop the Muscles from Brussels.
Spoiler: It doesn’t work.
That’s what makes Sudden Death a lost classic of the 90s.
Everyone involved understood the assignment.
The plot is a thinly veiled excuse to remake Die Hard with Van Damme.
It only exists to give him targets to roundhouse kick.
A huge hit on cable, Sudden Death is one of the great action movies way more people need to discover.
White House Down
For decades, action movies have been taking the Die Hard formula into strange new directions, from submarines, the Stanley Cup finals, and a private high school, but in 2013, disaster film legend Roland Emmerich dared ask, “What if Die Hard took place in the White House?”
White House Down is a fun take on that absurd question, and while it didn’t launch a franchise like the more serious Olympus Has Fallen, it actually holds up better.
A large part of that is because of Jamie Foxx as the President, and as the white tank top wearing everyman along for the ride, which hits the apex of insanity when the President of the United States takes down a tank on the front lawn.
The pair’s comedic timing adds a new buudy cop wrinkle to the Die Hard formula that had never been done before… except it had been done before in Die Hard with a Vengeance.
Well, there are certainly far worse Die Hard movies this could be ripping off.
Regardless, White House Down is pure popcorn entertainment and one of the great action comedies of its time.
Violent Night
Santa Claus coming to town, and he’s pissed.
Violent Night wears its inspirations on its sleeve, from Home Alone to Die Hard, and its far better than its kooky “Die Hard with Santa” premise might seem.
David Harbour is a very different Santa. He drinks, he doesn’t seem to care about anyone, and when a little girl who believes in Christmas is put in danger, he also has PTSD flashbacks to his time as a Viking Raider.
John Leguziamo slides so perfectly into the role of Scrooge, the leader of the Mercenaries holding the uber-wealthy Redstone family hostage.
It’s a shame we don’t have a dozen movies with him as the slimy villain.
It’s another example of Violent Night defying expectations, but the real scene-stealer is the Home Alone moment that realizes Macauley Culkin would have murdered the Wet Bandits.
Once you see David Harbour’s Viking Santa take a very hands on approach to those on the Naughty List, you’ll wish the upcoming sequel was already here.
Cliffhanger
The best way to describe Cliffhanger is Die Hard on a mountain, and it’s an absolute blast.
Sylvester Stallone’s Gabe Walker is a rescue climber haunted by his past.
He’s forced into an impossible situation against a gang of ruthless thieves led by Eric Qualen.
Leaning into the Die Hard formula, Cliffhanger’s suspense comes from its isolated setting, charismatic antagonist portrayed by John Lithgow at his most unhinged, and a hero who constantly finds himself one misstep away from disaster.
Swapping out claustrophobic air vent scenes for sprawling mountain ranges, Cliffhanger boasts jaw-dropping stunt-work and relentless pacing that still holds up decades later. And this is one of Stallone’s better performances, portraying an emotionally wounded everyman pushed to the absolute limit when things get a little too personal.
Cliffhanger’s lean, high-stakes action never lets up, and would make John McClane himself say Yippee-Ki-Yay, motherfucker if he ever had the pleasure of watching this flick.
Con Air
Nicolas Cage gloriously showcases his slow-motion badassery in Con Air, the airborne spectacle that breaks the sound barrier with over-the-top action sequences, and a cathartically unhinged antagonist portrayed by John Malkovich.
After serving an eight-year prison sentence for involuntary manslaughter, Cameron Poe just wants to get home to his wife and daughter. When his prison transport plane, the aptly named Jailbird, gets hijacked by some of the worst criminals alive, our hero has to rely on his grit and intuition to land the plane, all while cooperating with government agents on the ground to ensure minimal collateral damage.
But since we’re talking about a Jerry Bruckheimer production, there’s no shortage of carnage in the sky, on the ground, and anywhere else it can be jammed into the premise.
Playing out like Die Hard in the sky, Con Air is sentimental, egregiously over-the-top, and Nicolas Cage rocks a mullet that would make Jean-Claude Van Damme blush with envy as he kicks ass, takes names, and makes sure the bunny gets put back in the box.
On Deadly Ground
Steven Seagal is a legend in his own mind in On Deadly Ground, an environmental action flick that’s a love letter to Steven Seagal, starring Steven Seagal, produced by Steven Seagal, and directed by, say it with me, class, Steven Seagal.
On Deadly Ground actually breaks free from the Die Hard formula because Forrest Taft is not a reluctant hero like John McClane, but the exact opposite. A self-proclaimed environmentalist, martial arts savant, demolitions expert, survivalist, and all around mythical badass in every conceivable way, our hero can’t help but throw himself into dangerous situations in order to prevent a corrupt oil company from destroying the Alaskan wilderness.
Taking its self-righteousness to comical levels, On Deadly Ground runs the gamut of Die Hard inspired tropes, swinging wildly from brutal action sequences and preachy monologues to an epic speech about how Steven Seagal is a professor of ass-kicking with a million dollar smile and a fist full of pesos. And let’s not forget about the amount of collateral damage Taft causes during the final showdown that unintentionally suggests that maybe the environment was better off without his interference.
On Deadly Ground is excessive and self-serious to a fault, but watching Seagal try to save the planet through sheer force of will, and ego, is unforgettable. If you need to see a Die Hard knockoff that does it all in hilariously awful fashion, this is your jam.
